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– Oh look at this guy. What, do you think you’re better than us? Ooh, nice jacket. Why are you so dressed up? If you have just decided to make a change and start dressing well, I bet that you have heard one of or maybe all of those things from a colleague, a friend, or maybe even a family member.
Those sorts of comments, whether we want to admit it or not, affect our confidence and can be real impediments to following through with the positive changes that we want to make.
So in this video, we’re going to go over 10 effective strategies for dealing with the haters but first, you’re watching He Spoke Style, I’m Brian Sacawa. If you’re new here, at He Spoke Style, we are dedicated to giving you all the tips, knowledge, and inspiration you need to help you dress well, feel more confident and unlock your potential. Haters suck, yeah I’m looking at you, two people who always thumbs down my videos right when they’re posted.
Yep, you think I didn’t notice?
But unfortunately, if you’re trying to improve something, especially if you are starting to dress well and you’re making noticeable progress and succeeding at it, haters just always seem to appear. They’re the armchair critics, they’re the naysayers, and they’re gonna try to discourage you but what you need to do is to stay focused, stay motivated and ignore the boos because those are coming from the cheap seats.
However, it’s not always easy and I know and that’s why I’ve put together these 10 strategies to help you deal with the haters. Number one, use that criticism as fuel. If someone criticizes you, you have a choice to make, you can either let it drag you down, which is what the person who said that to your wants, or you can let it light a fire underneath you but what you need to remember is that when someone puts you down, it says more about them than it does about you.
In fact, it reveals who they are, their insecurities, and honestly, that they feel threatened by you and if that’s the case, you’re on to something. Recognize that and let it fuel you. Number two, take it as a compliment. I know you kind of have to do a little mental jujitsu to kind of process a put down as a compliment but think of it this way: if you are inspiring criticism and envy, you are on the right path and you will be successful.
They don’t want you to dress well because they don’t and they know that you are on your way to making them look bad.
Number three, try hitting back. Now in this situation, you’ve kind of got to know the room and the people you are talking with. If they’re colleagues or friends you’ve known for a long time and have a history with and you are someone who is good at really thinking on your feet, this is a great opportunity to throw it back at them, maybe give them a little dig of your own. It shows that you have some humility, you’re not taking yourself too seriously, and really kind of changes the conversation the irony is that if you use this strategy effectively and you’re not defensive, the person who lobbed that initial insult at you will probably have more respect for you for standing up to them.
I know it’s messed up but that’s how some people are.
Number four is to kill them with kindness. Now, this is a proven strategy that works all the time and it really makes the person who is insulting you feel like a total jackass. Remember, they want to upset you, they want to throw you off your game and if you’re able to pivot to something positive, it shows a lot of character on your part and it reveals much about them. Number five is just something to remember and that’s that successful people do not need to put others down. In fact, successful people don’t have time to put others down because they’re too busy being successful and thinking about what they need to do to get where they want to go, they don’t have time to think about what other people think.
It’s an easy trap to fall into though, I do it myself from time to time and I’m always infinitely more successful when I am not worrying about the opinions of others. Number six, remember that when someone criticizes you, it’s not about you, it’s really about them and what that could mean is that maybe they’re going through a tough time, maybe there’s something going on at home that you don’t know about, maybe they’re dealing with something at work, you don’t know.
Use this as an opportunity to check in on them and show them that you care. Number seven, don’t react. Don’t give them the satisfaction, don’t let them see that it bothers you.
Like your mother used to say, if you ignore them, they’ll go away. If you don’t give them the reaction they’re looking for, they will stop. Number eight is to reflect. Now maybe there’s something you can learn from what they’re saying. For example, if you’ve just started to make this change in how you dress and you show up in a bright red suit with a black vest, a paisley bow tie, and spectator shoes, maybe you do need to tone it down a little bit.
Trying too hard is a mistake that all of us will make on this journey, in fact, I believe it’s a mistake that you can’t avoid. So in this case, maybe the person who’s hating on you is legitimately trying to help. Now a lot of these strategies involve actively engaging and in some cases, putting up a wall and some checks on what you might want to say but for number nine, it’s okay to acknowledge your feelings, no matter how well you deal with the haters, it still hurts on some level, even if you don’t show it outwardly. That’s why it’s important to have people you can trust that you can go to who understand you, who listen to you, for example, the community here at He Spoke Style because talking about how you’re feeling definitely makes you feel better. Number 10 is to stick to your convictions.
You’re making the effort to dress well for a reason, for confidence, for self-respect, to show the people around you that you care and you put effort into whatever you do. You’re doing something positive and you need to keep that energy going because it will be infectious and when you succeed, other people will take note and I bet they will start asking you questions like what are some really easy ways that I can start to up my game? Now you already know and it’s simple: you don’t need a lot, you just need a few great basics and know how to put them together, as this playlist will show you how to do. Click here and brush up, so you can help your friends out when they ask for your advice.
