– What just happened
between the three of us is the single reason that Gary Vee the character exists. Way too long, guys looked up to guys on dumb shit, trying to do quick cash and fucking Mercedes and flick. I'm here to fucking squash that because there's plenty of
people with good intent who've been miscommunicated to, to take shortcuts and do bullshit shit.

You got your perspective. (audience cheering) I just wanna be happy,
don't you want to be happy? (upbeat music) What was really interesting about COVID for all the challenges that it had for a lot of us, it allowed us to slow down and ponder. And for me, especially, it allowed me to tap into some things that I haven't historically talked about, and I'm grateful for that. For all the things I talk
about around self-awareness or gratitude or things of that nature, what's incredibly clear to me, what's incredibly clear to me at this point in my career is that from a business standpoint and clearly from a life standpoint, I think we grossly
underestimate perspective. I really genuinely believe that life is exactly as you see it. I believe that there are inherently people who are cynical, and because of that, they're just going to
believe things are not good or stacked against them, and I think there are
people who are optimistic.

I think there are people who are practical and delusional and all those things that I think many of you have heard about, but there are a couple things that really stood out for me during this last 18 months. And it really is interesting that one of the categories I'm spending a lot of time on right now that a lot of you know is NFT land, (audience cheering) and the way I got there is what's most interesting to me and what I thought about, what do I wanna talk about tonight, what can actually bring some value, what's something that
somebody can build off of. I really think it's time we start talking about
curiosity a little bit more. So I become incredibly
passionate about curiosity. I think that in self-reflection mode so much of what works for me, there's many things that
are part of the equation, there's many ingredients
that get me there, but curiosity is not something I saw or really even understood as part of the equation. And I think when I think of
the collective in this room, something that is very obvious to me is in our current society, we start to demonize
curiosity pretty quickly.

We get a couple of years of it as a kid, but then just subconsciously it's not some crazy agenda, but subconsciously we
start going into places that overvalue how it's been done, the black and white, the system. So much of what I've always
felt as an entrepreneur was a vulnerability of a school system is not the cliche stuff that you might see in my content, but just by nature, all of us spending the majority
of our youth in a system that grades us every 90 days, and we pandered to a
subjective reality within that really sets us up to eliminate our creativity and our curiosity, makes us subconsciously
conform to the short term and inherently makes us lack patience.

The other thing I'm
spending a lot of time on is how much we struggle with
our relationship in time and with time, We get sold so many
things like life is short, which I think all of
us at this point know, depending on the context that you look at a
statement or a situation, it changes the altercation. But so many of the rules in society of when you're supposed to
have your life figured out, get married, accomplish is predicated on a world where people
live to 45 years old. It's just the reality of it. So much of what we're affected by is how our grandparents were affected by their
parents and grandparents, and those fuckers were dying at 40. (audience laughing) Of course, you should have
your life figured out at 30 when you're dead at 47, (audience laughing) but we haven't adjusted. 1880 may seem a long time ago, but it's stunningly not.

And when life expectancy is in the late '30s and early 70s, and now we're 75, 85, 90, 95, I just think that there's so
much confusion in the system, and I just think that we need to have different conversations. Let me give you an example. A different conversation that we need in the business world, that's where I'll keep it, but it's clearly a societal statement is I'm genuinely struggling why anybody should not be kind. I have watched in the business world for the last 20 years, people justify being
cruel to the people that they're a manager of or their admins because they're stressed. I'm sorry I scolded you, you don't get it, the client had me in a bad day.

We have completely accepted
bad behavior off of bullshit. (audience applauding) I'm really passionate about this. If you're a leader by nature, your job is to stop
pressure at your level, not deploy more of it underneath you. I think that we need to just do better. I think that people in
business are confused. I think that the way that businesses
branded is misbranded. I think people think that if you're kind, you get walked over and I think that is absolutely asinine. I think that a lot of people who claim they're being walked all over are actually just trying
to manipulate situations and it didn't work out
the way they wanted to, so they use, I got walked
all over it as excuse.

I'm kind as fuck, none of you are walking over me. On the short term and we are short-term structured. And I think that I'm passionate
at this point in my life to really start talking about the nuances that are very clear to me, that sustainable things are grounded in very good virtues, and that we have to start
recognizing that soft skills will continue to dominate
and gain momentum because hard skills are starting to be commoditized. And as technology eats up things that people can do with AI and many other technology
advances, robots, they'll kill us in the end, we'll probably all be gone, but the robots will win.

Your children will probably
get killed by robots, kidding, but maybe not. (audience laughing) But I think for all of us, as we navigate these next two,
three, four, five decades, I think it's incredibly
important to take a step back and really recognize
how much has changing. All these changes, whether it's blockchain or a mature social media or all the other technology things are fundamentally changing the world. The railroad system really changed shit. Airplanes really changed things, like the television really changed things. I believe that all of us are
incapable including myself to really wrap our heads around what a mature internet with an emerging blockchain
means to society. And my intuition is that what it's definitely causing is a very big opportunity for soft skills and other things that we haven't talked
about in entrepreneurship.

In my brain and in my company, I call it the honey empire. I believe you get more
out of honey than vinegar, but let there be no confusion, I'm trying to build an empire, which is not a soft word. People struggle with contradictions. I'm incredibly ambitious and tenacious. I'm incredibly fast day by day, but I'm incredibly patient. I think people struggle
with patience and ambition, even though it's exactly what you see if you study things that have been built that are meaningful.

And so I think nuances
context really matters and we've lost that, we've become an incredibly hot take headline reading society, clearly, politically, everybody understands that, it's the easiest thing to read, it goes beyond that. – Gary, what's up? Oh my God, I'm freaking out. – Don't. – This is crazy for me guys. I mean, we have Gary Vee
in the house, this is nuts. (audience cheering) Lots of questions for Gary tonight, starting with this video question from Service Credit Union.

– Hi Gary, what is the
most notable disadvantage a micro or small business would have in today's market? And more importantly, what is a key attribute a business owner should
have in overcoming it? – Can I get him to play it again? What's the biggest vulnerability that… – What is the most notable disadvantage of a micro/small in today's market and what is the key attribute/trait a business owner should
have to overcome it? And this is coming from Michael. – Michael I think the
biggest vulnerability that a small or medium-sized business has is their perspective that their size is their vulnerability. It fascinates me how much
people love to think about why they're not growing. And no question, this is the luxury of getting
so much content sent to me in text, email, DMs. Everybody goes to, this person got more fundraising, this is a bigger company, they opened a location in my area. There's a very specific
reason why David and Goliath is a story that still
plays out in our society. The biggest mistake and
the biggest opportunity for a smaller business is to be David.

The problem with small businesses is they inherently want to be Goliath, they want to be bigger, but they don't have that resource. The problem with Goliath is they're slow and audacious. It's actually very easy to build, compete with big companies today because of the size and
scale of the internet. We see it so much. If Goliath always was
gonna continue to win, well IBM would still
be the biggest company, Microsoft would've
never let Google happen, Google would've never let Facebook happen. I think you need to, when you're small, you need to lean into
scaling unscalable behaviors. – For small businesses
and small business owners, where do they get the confidence to grow their business in what might be a very saturated market? – What's the alternative? You decided to have a fucking business. Seriously though, right? Like the confidence
comes from the audacity of thinking that you can
build a life for yourself where you pay for yourself and nobody else is doing it for you.

You already made that decision. The alternative is go get a job and shut down your company. Like, people love capitalism
and entrepreneurship when it's working for them, the second it's not, they don't like it. I mean, I'm so tired of all my friends that are capitalists. I'm a capitalist, which means I'm willing to go to zero and if I lose, I lost. But like, everyone's like
such a great entrepreneur, and then somebody bigger comes along and takes market share and they're crying about some shit. Everybody hates when the
government's involved until they need the government. Stop being soft. – Love it, stop being soft,
everyone, myself included. – But it's a very, I wanna stay on this, it's a very important point, this is what you signed up for. If you don't have the confidence, you can build it through
historical staying alive. Do you know how many people here… Clap up if you've had your own business for more than five years. (audience applauding) The level of admiration
I have for everybody who just clapped, it's hard. Your confidence should
come from the fact that you're part of a small group of people that decided to take on
the risk to begin with.

Anybody would just clap and has been doing it for
five years that's remarkable, but don't be audacious if somebody big comes along, they're better than you then, that's what you're saying. Don't cry about it, don't try to change the rules 'cause it's not working for you. My favorite version of
it is you were small, you got bigger and hurt other people, but now somebody else came
along and is bigger than you, and you're crying about it, right? You weren't crying when you were taking other people's money. So don't cry when I'll take yours. (audience laughing) – I love it. All right, this is from
Mark Sky on Twitter. My girlfriend and I are
quitting our careers to take on an ambitious
20,000 kilometer bike ride and paddle from home
in Canada to a summit, as a charity adventure
that lasts 18 months. What is the best way to gain exposure? – The best way to gain exposure is to do the most obvious thing
to everybody in this room, anybody could sit in this
seat and answer this, which is to document the entire journey.

The question is, are
you good enough at it? Everybody knows the answer. You start a blog and
you put it on YouTube, you chop up all the pieces of content you put on TikTok and
Instagram and Twitter, but are they compelling? Do they know how to post that content? Will they reply to all the comments? People's lack of patience
with building exposure is why most people don't have any. It took me two years of Wine Library TV before anybody gave a shit.

I did it five days a week for two years. (audience applauding) – Now, Gary, in one of your podcasts, you said something super commendable that you actually had a
position in your company for someone to read the comments, reply to people. And from there, you guys create this assessment as to what your content should be. Can we talk a little bit about the importance of replying to comments and acknowledging people in social media. – Like in the prior
session, to your point, we have a very prominent role
at VaynerMedia called PCS, post creative strategist. These individuals' jobs
are to read every comment from every post of a brand and then use their psychology,
anthropology skills to make observations from the comments, by reading the qualitative data and inform an insight that makes the next piece of content.

The amount of people
that hit me up every day is hundreds, thousands
of people who are sad that they're not growing. And then occasionally, I used to do it all the time, now I do it occasionally I will go look at their account. 90% of those people don't even reply to the 15 people that leave a comment. If you're in this audience, and you're sad that your
profile is not growing on the business side or the personal side, and you are not replying
to every comment you get from the content you are putting out, you are audacious. Thank you. (audience laughing) – I love this next question
from Michael on Twitter. He asks, what are the key principles to happiness and success in life? – I believe it's simplicity, I really do. I think for the people
that know me in my life, I'm really simple. I really enjoy my career, I love this.

Like you couldn't even
imagine how humbled I am by people's interest in what I talk about, but I think the key to happiness is being content while being ambitious. And I think being content
comes from gratitude. I'm so grateful for what I have, and I've always been that way, that all this special stuff
that has been happening doesn't mean enough to me. This is not where my self worth comes in. The Gary Vee crap and the
collapse and the follower, like it's incredible, but it's not what I aspire to, it's not how I see my value.

And I think the only way to be happy is to have a quiet mind. And I think a quiet mind comes from a balance of very deep humility and true perspective of understanding that like you just genuinely understand that you don't mean shit
in the scheme of things, but you aspire in your
behavior to mean something. And I think it's a very
interesting balance that I think it works incredibly well. I just wish people, people are just impossibly addicted to outside affirmation, to acceptance. And I wish people lived
in their own cocoon and just did the things
that made them happy. So many people would aspire to make so much less money if they didn't care about
what other people think and would be dramatically happier, dramatically happier. And I wish that in society.

– Now, what do you do when… Yeah, it's gone, they're all good ones. (audience applauding) – It's a tough conversation because in the business world, so many people think that scoring is based on how big your net worth is or how much money you make. And it's really unfortunate 'cause I think troop red entrepreneurship almost doesn't give a shit about all the collateral that
comes along with it, it's art, you just love doing it. And we've got to find our balance much like the chat I had upfront as I spend the next half decade refining what I talked to you about up there, and what I'm talking about right now is we have to change the
definition of success. We have to, it cannot be the flex. We can not put expensive watches and cars and bank accounts on a pedestal, we must get away from that. But that doesn't mean
we demonize it either. We have to make it about
the process of the game. We've gotta find our way 'cause right now we're over here.

We've got to find this. – Now, Gary, tell me when life hits, when the storm of life hits, 'cause we've all been there, no matter who you are, how do you remain in that state and that space of gratitude and balance. – Very easily. When your entire life
has only predicated on the health and wellbeing of a small group of people you love more than breathing, nothing scares you. (audience applauding) I mean, the first couple
of months of COVID, Vayner was a very weird spot. I don't build it for profits, so we didn't have profit. You know, I built it for growth. We were very weird, in the US the way they
subsidized businesses, we were in the middle, we weren't small enough
and weren't big enough, so we got nothing. All of our clients are humongous and all of them right away said, we're gonna slow down the way we pay you.

It was a very big challenge, and I just remember having the
greatest moment with myself when it was super scary
week one saying, oh my God, everything I've been telling them is true. If this company goes out of business, I'll be beyond okay. – I love that, I have a question because what you said prior to what you just said, really hit home for me
because in my previous role, in my previous job, I actually attached my
worth and my identity to income, my job, my work, my schedule, social media, because I worked so hard to get it. I fell in kind of that loophole then life hit me with a
very big wake up call. And I was stuck with this
super uncomfortable feeling of my internal changing, and if I didn't change my external, it just wasn't working and I became a very unhappy person. So just in case there's
anyone in the crowd and the fans and the audience, anyone listening online who can relate, what would be your advice to them to have that courage, to start redefining success in their life. – That they can. Like everybody's so obsessed on what they've done and said.

Like the greatest gift in the world is the ability to be comfortable
in changing your mind. (audience applauding) Actually, I have a very
different thing to say right now. We need to start hanging
out with 90 year olds more. (audience laughing) I mean this. You wanna do something that will bring you an incredible amount of value, but also bring someone else an incredible amount of value, go donate your time to a
retirement home for one week, you will learn a lesson real fast that 99% of the stuff that all of you are right now thinking
about means jack shit.

This is a game of perspective. I don't understand how
we don't understand that. You must shift perspective
into simplicity, which then makes the
ability to do what we all do so much more palpable because there's no weight on it, because it doesn't matter as much, which then inherently
makes it more enjoyable. Of course, you're gonna burn out if your entire self worth is in how good your business is doing. Of course, you're gonna burn out. A funny thing happens you don't burn out from games. When you make your career a game things changed very quickly. – I love that, I'm gonna start the clap on that one. (audience applauding) All right, next, we have a video question from a Facebook winner, Matt Huber.

– Gary Vee, it's Matt
huber here in Edmonton. Absolutely love what you do. The focus big time on the humility aspect. We're five-year stronger on
20 to 30% year over year, we got 20 Albertans working with us and just rocking it. Our question for you is how do we get from the small business to the medium sized business? We got managers and we're
helping them succeed, but how do we let go? How do we grow that to the next level? – What's tough about video questions is you wanna ask them, you know, there's the next question there. It's like, you know, again, I talk about these, the Maddix a lot, and I will repeat them to my death. The best way to go from a small business to a medium business is by deploying patience and doing what you did to get to become a small business. Of course there are strategies. I've been very consistent about this. For 15 years, I put out
a very simple message that has been uncomfortably
historically true. If you understand where the
customer's attention is, and you know how to make pictures,
videos, and written words for those platforms, you will grow.

For that gentleman's business, if he got great at LinkedIn ads, his top line revenue would grow. The question is, how's he judging himself? By the way, what is even a
small or medium business? Like what are the rules of all that shit? Is like, is 5 million small? Is 50 million medium? Like, what is this shit? I'm sure there's some answer
to it if you Google it, but everybody's answer's different, right? Like what? Like it's these constant games of making these things for us. You know what that is? That's fucking the 90
day school grade shit, the fuck are you trying
to do for tomorrow? What is that? He's gonna make his own subjective call if he's a medium business
or a small business.

We're playing dumb fucking games out here. – Oh my gosh. I love it, I love it. (audience applauding) Gary you speak a lot… – What's a medium sized business? – Honest to God, I'm with you, who f thing knows? – But really, is it 50? Somebody help, what's a
medium sized business? No, no revenue, not people. (audience responding) 5 million bucks somebody just said, that's a medium sized business. That's smaller shit to me, that's a bullshit business. But this is important to understand. I'm not right, I'm not cool, I'm not special, it just doesn't work for my brain. For somebody else, a
million, that's insane. Do you know how hard it is to build a million dollar business? I know by the way, what about the fact that
you change over time? What about 23 or $5 million business is a medium-sized business, but then you're 36 and it's not, or it goes down, like we just, we play in these semantics that don't mean anything
except make us anxious.

– You speak to a patience a lot. And I'm very curious to hear this answer because I am not patient at all, and I'm one of these people where I have this grand idea and if there isn't this outcome that I'm looking for within the week, I immediately think that I'm failing and I'm doing a miserable
job and no one cares. So if there's anyone
out there who's like me, what advice would you give them in being patient with their business? – Do you remember in sixth
grade when you had a zit and you were scared shit
just to go to school? Everybody else had zits too, that's my answer to that question. (audience laughing) This is where humility
is a fucking superpower. You may see bravado on stage, my happiness is grounded in humility. You know what humility
looks like in this scenario? If you don't think you're important, it's almost like your
results don't matter. Who are you disappointing? Yourself? Those are voices that
were put inside of you by somebody else. – But what if you're a perfectionist? Like, what if you expect
12 out of 10 everyday.

– If you're a perfectionist
you're insecure. – Oh, that's good, you hit me right between
the eyes with that one. – Well, if we're getting a shitload abuse and not a lot of conversions, it doesn't sound like
it's a platform issue, it sounds like your offering isn't good. No, no, it's not, by the way, by the way, this is why business is so funny to me, that's a good thing, that wasn't a bad thing,
that wasn't a razz, because listen to how
the question was asked. I'm not in the right path but you're getting plenty of attention. You're not converting which means you have to understand that what you're offering isn't landing, and this is where curiosity and humility to take a step back and say, how do I tweak this? Because you might be
an inch away, brother, you might literally have to
drop the price by 10 bucks, add a day, change a word
and everything flows.

But what people often do is they go to the front to fix when the back is the issue. It's never this, everyone here is obsessed with the sink, it's the fucking well. You know what's so crazy, now I'm gonna get up. What you just did about
I see his true intent, but when you were squirming
with everything, I said no, in a good way, in a good way, I know, what just happened between the three of us is the single reason that
Gary Vee the character exists. Way too long guys looked
up to guys on dumb shit, trying to do quick cash and
fucking Mercedes and flick, I'm here to fucking squash that because there's plenty of
people with good intent who've been miscommunicated to, to take shortcuts and do bullshit shit.

(audience applauding) Okay, let's keep going. – All right, this is a tweet from Rob. How does one balance family life, two small businesses, and a full-time job? – By not judging themselves. – Oh, love that. Can we go deeper into that? How does that look. – Easy, there is no such
thing as work-life balance, every family is different. There is no such thing called balance, you're the judge and the jury, just like a medium sized
business or a small business. We do these things to
make ourselves upset, we have to stop. How do you balance it? By trying. (audience applauding) You try, you try to go to the recital, you try to go to the
parent-teacher conference, you try to run your business, you try. – And if you try your
hardest and can't do it, you should not judge yourself.

– What is can't? What's can't do it? What does that even fucking mean? You missed the baseball game. Come on. The kids can have you miss
a fucking baseball game. (audience laughing) Everything, it's true, it's true. Every single person here has 9,700 things they can think of that
their parents fucked up and they still love them. And oh, by the way, forgot 8 trillion things their parents did that was fucked up. We were in some crazy fucking dynamic of like over analyzing
everything so fucking much with a layer of cynicism that is making everybody go fucking crazy.

If you're a good person and you're trying, truly trying and not trying to hurt anybody, you're fucking phenomenal, (audience cheering) Enough. – How do we eliminate that outside noise? Sometimes, you know… – By not fucking caring
about other people's opinions once and fucking for all. High school is fucking over, stop playing in it. It's over, you left. You're not in fucking high school, you are, I know, but everybody else, stop. It's over, what? Who? Your mom? Tell your mom to go fuck herself, she fucked up too. What, you're spelling, what? Who? What? Just living for other people's judgment. Everybody else sucks shit too. – Now, if you're gonna tell your mom that, how do you have the courage to have that kind of
conversation with her? – Because you don't say
it the way I'm saying it, you say it in different way.

You say, mom, I appreciate your opinion of how I'm being a father, how about the time you did this, that shuts them up real fast. (audience laughing) I love it, I love it. – Like I just don't understand how people are so deeply into
this affirmation culture, keeping up with the Joneses. it's just really a problem, And it's getting worse by the second and news alert, it's not
social media's fault, it's your fault. This lack of accountability
is fucking disgusting. (audience applauding) We have to go deeper and we have to be more
optimistic and positive. We have to become more
optimistic and positive. You know why? You get to decide life.

Just so you know, news alert, you're deciding what life actually is. It is your subjective call. And if you're like, well, Gary, fuck you, I grew up in a family
that was very pessimistic, and this is what it is, well, then what do you want? Then go to therapy, right? Like do something, fight for it. Fight to be happy, listen to positive shit, that's a funny game. Miraculous thing happens when you cut out your
most pessimistic friend, you become more optimistic. And let me tell you about complaining. The only people that are
listening to your complaining are people that extremely love you, but are enablers or your
other loser friends, and you're just complaining to each other.

– How about those people who, 'cause I'm sometimes like this. I have high anxiety in certain moments and I create this narrative, the storyline in my head where I'm like, this person's judging me because of this or this person's mad at me because he didn't look at me today and didn't say hello
when I said hello to him, how do you escape that mental block? Because sometimes it's all consuming. – By making me pretend that
you're gonna die tomorrow. – Actually, I love that. – I'm being serious, I'm
giving you my answer. How the fuck am I gonna care about Johny thinking that I'm not good-looking today if I'm gonna die tomorrow, you think I'm gonna care about that? We don't have perspective.

All of a sudden, miraculously people stopped worrying
about a lot of things when COVID hit. That was funny. She changed. We just care about dumb shit 'cause the world is too good. How about that one? How about that one, my friends? We've decided it's so
bad because it's so good. Look at the data. What can I tell you? Too much prosperity. This is where again, humility comes in. So much of this good shit for me, so many entrepreneurs struggle
with the word luck I do. I worked so hard since I was 14 years old, I struggle with it, but
I'm incredibly lucky. I was born in a communist country and was in the right
time, in the right place. My grandfathers both spent years in jail for being entrepreneurs in Russia, and I get clapped for in Edmonton.

(audience laughing) So, I lived in a studio apartment, the size of this fucking stage with fucking multiple family members, so I have perspective, I'm grateful for everything I have. We lack gratitude. You understand that, right? You lack gratitude. There are almost 2 billion people on earth that don't have access to clean water. Are you a fucking asshole? Think about what I just said.

There are over a billion people on earth that don't have access to clean water, and you're complaining that your Instagram's
not growing, fuck you. (audience cheering) – Okay, this next… – Can we stay on this one? – I'd love to. Are we good guys? I'd love to. – You wanna take anxiety
out of the system, you wanna be happier, look at the world and be grateful for what you have.

Everybody's so interested
in paying attention to people that have more than them, they don't recognize that
there's way more people that have less than them. – So Gary, what do you
do to stay grounded, to stay in the space of gratitude? Are there affirmations that you say, do you meditate? Do you spend time with your family? What is your source of that gratitude? – My sources that I was
extremely fortunate with the luck of the DNA game and outrageous levels of remarkable parenting by my mom. That's me, that's me.

That's why I stand up here today, not thinking anything of me, all this things that I'm spewing, I'm just a vehicle passing through what my mom gave to me and I'm sure she got, you know, like, I don't think there's
anything special about me, I know what I'm saying
is special and important. I know a lot of other
people know it to be true. I have so much judgment on me in the world because I am obsessed with
talking about positive things in a world where anger
and darkness is loud and happiness is quiet.

(audience applauding) What you're seeing on the
mainstream media and social media is the loud dark minority. The problem is the quiet,
happy majority is quiet. (audience applauding) If you're happy, do me a favor, share it and not flex it. Don't show them you're happy
with your Porsche, Rick. Talk about real shit, this is real talk here. – You're a son of immigrant parents, I'm a daughter of immigrant parents. My beautiful mom is here today. Her and my dad escaped communist
Poland back in the '80s, created this unbelievable
life here in Canada. And I remember listening
to you on a podcast, I think maybe the moment where I truly fell in love with Gary Vee, and you said your greatest gift was being the son of immigrant parents. – 100%, adversity is the
foundation of success. (audience applauding) This macro prosperity is
the foundation of anxiety. You don't worry about everything
we talk about in society when you don't have food.

– Gary, did you ever have anxiety? Did you ever put these
pressures on yourself when you started first creating content? If you ever were in this space of doubt and fear and insecurity, how did you get out of that bubble? – The most insecure
place I've ever been in was the fear of confrontation, which blows people's mind because on stage and public persona, candor is my strength, but real life, I hated candor because my father was very
aggressive with candor, but very negative. And I wasn't able to separate the vehicle he was deploying the candor in from the value of candor. So, for 25 years of my
career, I was anxious every time I decided
somebody had to get fired, it completely put me into spirals. I would avoid it, it was always sloppy. To a T, every person that's
ever been close to me in business that works
for me or worked for me that doesn't love me
is based on one thing, my inability to be candorous.

And it's been a very big shift for me in the last three, four years, the new book is called
"Twelve and a Half", it's about 13 attributes, but I call it "Twelve and a Half" because I'm only halfway through
my journey on kind candor. And I needed to create the
word kind in front of candor to even begin to deploy candor, and it has led to an incredible
amount of unhappiness in my life and career was my inability to be candarous, which is wild 'cause my
content is incredibly candarous 'cause I'm not talking to anybody, I'm talking to everybody, but when it's Steve or Sally
or Johnny or Nicole or Karen, it was very hard for me.

And so now I do it. – Would you change anything about your journey or your process even the negative moments, the life-changing moments, the things that you didn't love. If you're here right now and you could. – Of course not, of course not. It would be crazy. – I love that, I agree. It's all about the process. – The number one, people
looking backwards, backwards, dwelling it's over. I don't know if you guys heard, we have not invented time machines yet. You're not going back anyway. People sit and dwell and they make these subjective, this keeps going back
to the theme of tonight. They make subjective calls of that's where their life got ruined. And they decide that that's
where life got ruined for 47 years, they think about it. It's no, I think I'm incredibly grateful, and I always do a fun game with myself, which is maybe something on paper would have been something great, but maybe that would have
led me to going over here, and that's where I would
have gotten hit by a bus, like I believe in that.

I'm very imaginative of it could be worse, it could be worse. It's just completely one
big game of gratitude, and I want, I come and do this because I'm passionate about one person in this audience
emailing me in nine years saying I was in Edmonton in 2021 and I wasn't grateful, you're right. I was spoiled, I was entitled, I was delusional and I practiced
it and it changed my life. I believe in that 'cause I'm on the
receiving end of that now, 15 years later, I like it, it feels good, it makes me feel nice. It's a better feeling.

When you're full, when you're full, when you're good, you have nowhere to go, but trying to make it
good for everybody else, which is why I know that I have to deploy sympathy and empathy for everyone who's mean to me because they're not good, they're hurt. So they're trying to drag me down to be hurt with them. People struggle with negative comments, I'm gonna save you, I'm gonna make you get real comfortable with negative comments on
social media and in life, they're hurt. Don't feel bad for you, feel bad for them. They're showing you their hand. They're upset, they're hurt. You're welcome my man. – All right, everyone, please give it up for
Mr. Gary Vee himself. (audience applauding) – Thank you so much, really.

Thank you, thank you so much. I love you Edmonton. Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. YouTube watcher, what's up? It's Gary Vee. First of all, thank you so much. I hope you're doing super
well during these times. I also wanna ask you please subscribe because my commitment and
exploration of YouTube is about to explode. Stories, polls, more
content, more engagement, more surprise, and delight. This is the time to subscribe. I hope you consider it
and I hope I see you soon.

Like, South by oh-nine. I like all the different scenes, right? You know, it's kind of like those athlete videos, like Jordan, Jeter. It's like a Nike video. (light music) It's kind of almost like that fuck you video. Yeah, it's kind of like– [Man] Start from the bottom, hustled your way up. Yeah, it's the same old shit because it's my true narrative, which is like, you think it's because my dad gave me, it's like you take all the things that people are against you for. It's like– [Man] Shove it in their face. Mhmm. (building music) On my 30th birthday, I looked myself in my rear view mirror as I was driving from New York to New Jersey, and I said, "You're not behaving "to back up your own words." And eight weeks later, I started Wine Library TV on YouTube. And started the process of changing my career.

I have massive empathy, It's not so awesome right now. You're hoping for that thing. I get it. I get it so much you can't imagine. I get 10,000 emails a day of, "Can't I just do this?" No. You can't. (laughs) If it was so easy. If it was so damn easy, don't you think we'd all choose that? [Woman] Do you know how many kids feel less than because they didn't have a chance to go to school. They're not this. They're not that. And then you look at someone like GaryVee, and he admits, he said in public, that he got D's and F's, and look at where he is now. Do you know what kind of hope that creates? It's a long game. I was told between 7 years old and 18 year olds that I lost. That I was a loser because this is what I got. F City, baby! But when I saw F City, I knew inside that this was not the game that I was gonna play.

I was patient. I ate crow in that 12-year period while the market and the machine told me I wasn't gonna win. I knew what my outcome was. And you may now be in your 20s and 30s and 40s. And the machine, the marketplace might be telling you that you're gonna lose, but it is about staying the course and putting in the work and positioning yourself in the right position to go out and win. You know why I'm sitting here right now? 'Cause I outworked you. Zoom in. I outworked you. I think a lot of people feel this enormous pressure to achieve this millionaire, billionaire status somewhere in their 20s, 30s, 40s.

It's very difficult. It is for very few and far between. I hope everybody understands. If you put in 18 hours every day of your life, and you suck shit, you lost. (group laughs) That matters, too. And so you also have to think about what are you good at. Just cause it's cool to be a start up founder now doesn't mean that's what you need to become. In early 2006, I started Wine Library TV. For 19 months I did that show five days a week, and nobody gave a shit. Hello, everyone and welcome to the first episode of Wine Library TV. I am Gary Vaynerchuk, Director of Operations here at Wine Library and WineLibrary.com, and I am very proud to launch what we think is the first video wine blog.

[Interviewer] Your first video got how may views? 30, 75. I mean, nobody watched Things like writing emails, which I get 50 of them a day from entrepreneurs of like, "Hey, I know you were talking about patience. "I've been doing this. It's not working. Traction. "Should I give up and do something else?" Inevitably, I'll email back and be like, "How long have you been doing it?" "Oh, four months," and I'm like, "Fuck you." (laughter) You want this to be your life, and you're giving up after four months? Are you out of your mind? Patience is grossly underestimated. I was very successful when my wine business was growing. Now I start doing the show and spending all of my time trying to promote the show. And the sales of Wine Library start flattening out 'cause I was the engine.

The show wasn't getting watched, but I knew this was right. And the show really didn't take off until mid-2007, a year and a half in of five days a week doing a show, getting only hundreds, then a couple thousand views. Gotta keep putting in the work. Every day. One is better than zero. Gotta keep putting in the work. Putting in the work, putting in work. There is no quick cure. The hard work matters. And the patience is what overrides it. I don't need to get mines at 25. Heck, I don't need to get mines at 45. This is a long, long game. I'm very driven by the climb. I think being an immigrant, I guess or just having this DNA I don't like winning.

I like losing. I like the struggle. I don't give a shit about the stuff comes along. But the game is my drug. There will never be a game over for me. There's no dollar amount. The game, the process, the climb. That is the drug that drives me. That is my oxygen. That's what I love. And so every day is going to go by. 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021. And you're going to look for the short game. You're gonna look for that miracle algorithm. You're gonna look for that one move that's going to change your outcome, and you're going to continue to search and play the short game while I keep putting in the work, the hours, the long term value, and putting in the work while everybody else is hoping and dreaming, I'm going to be executing You play this sport game. I'll keep playing the long game. And it's time to put on a helmet, and get to work.

(exciting steady drum beat and electronic music) Please, take a step back. Use this video as a reminder. Watch it every damn day that you want to cheat or get there quick, and remind yourself about how you make your money is just as important as actually making it..

I think so many people are keyboard
activists right everybody's good at sending a tweet about how the world
should be and nobody's doing anything about it and that just that is just very
much human nature we've gotten soft as a culture yes you know I mean of course
we've gotten soft as a culture in the u.s. because the US has had an
incredible two hundred year run right like this is just what happens you know
so as a culture you know I can't speak for you know people that live in the
Amazon River and I can't speak for you know people that still live in Belarus
but the American culture is soft and that's a great thing that means there's
been enormous amounts of prosperity but let's not be naive
I mean people literally complain when somebody gives them the wrong amount of
like extra cream in a Starbucks $6 coffee you my lack of interest in complaining is so
high and when I watch what people complain about it breaks my heart
because they completely lack perspective and i genuinely believe my happiness and
optimism comes from my perspective even in political unrest times like right now
a lot of people very bent out of shape but the reality is is that it just never
been better to be a human being it's that's just the truth
that's just data that's that's reality and yeah I mean it's just a very fun
time to be alive and I think the way people look at the
world right now because it's such an incredible time is actually the quickest
tell to who they are if you think it sucks but it's bad
you have losing pessimistic DNA and if you think it's awesome and phenomenal
you have optimistic winning DNA and I believe that to be true and so that's
where we're at we're beating ourselves up like everybody sucks that's something
right like we all have shortcomings and we all have strengths and for me it's
like why don't we just audit that like why don't we just look at it that way
and be like alright well I'm good at this but I'm not gonna dad like and then
and then and then I only focus what I'm good at right like I don't dwell that I
can't fix shit around the house I call somebody to fix him like I'm not like
I'm not a man I don't give a fuck like you know like like you know like I don't
I don't get it like we all like I also think it's awesome that I'm so
emotionally stable and I'm the emotional backbone of everybody is that what a
dude's supposed to do like like these cliches these stereotypes they're so
silly I'm fully in love with myself but I'm also fully in love with everybody
else too right it's not like like it goes both ways like I tell people to buy
in to be that work for me it's cuz I buy into them first like I don't need
anybody to gain trust with me I it's they're like I believe that the human
race is so grossly underrated we are good of course we have some bad there's
fucking 7 billion of us but like when you look at our net score it's bonkers
shit like you know what you damage we can be doing to each other on a hourly
basis and we don't like we're still here like we won were the Alpha being and
we've figured out how to stay together this is insane when you think about it
and yet everybody wants to dwell on like somebody said something mean if you want to be an anomaly you have to
act like one like people want all these special things to happen but then
they're acting like everybody else and that gets into this Saturdays on in your
20s like or or just like taking risks or things of that nature like there's
anything they take away it's like look like you're gonna only be so pretty
you're only gonna be so smart like you like there's there's things that are
gonna be natural and there's things that you can actually control I do believe
and I don't know if I'm right or wrong I don't but I do believe that work ethic
is a taught behavior it's something you do have more control over and you know
what really sealed a deal for me getting healthier I was 38 years old and didn't
come natural to me like it didn't come natural to me at all I hate the gym I
hate him out I hate it I don't like it I don't want to do it but I but I knew it
was important and somewhere around midway through being 38 years old I got
serious I figured out my system I made the financial commitment and I've won
right and I'll never lose again because the system was I needed to be
accountable to another human being so it was about Mike and now Jordan and
whoever else is my trainer I'm doing it almost weirdly more to not let them down
I feel like there's a shift that can make people work harder the big one that
I push is you're gonna die like like if your complaint like to me life is broken
down into complaining and not so if you're not complaining well then I've
never I have no advice for you I'm pumped like you did it like like I've
friends who make $42,000 a year work 9:00 to 4:00
with an hour to have lunch and 45 minutes of YouTube and ten minutes of
bullshitting and an hour of complete waste of time in a meeting so the kind
of working like 6:00 you know hours a week right
but they're pumped and-and-and they text me these are highschool friends and
they'll text me like how happy they are to be the coach of their kids baseball
team and you know like that's amazing like that that seems very obvious to me
like that's like that's right you know which is super weird I'm actually nearly
any yes you know like I it sounds cool like in theory right grass is always
greener right like far less pressure you know like like all that time with my
kids booth that would be cool like there's
just like all these things that I can justify so to me but I have friends who
have a hundred million dollars in the bank because of Facebook's IPO who
complain who are still hungry who want to do even more
who will complain to me because they know I work a lot about no work-life
balance and they don't get to spend enough time with their family and I'm
like you have a hundred million dollars like you could stay home like you're in
control like you don't complain about it you've made that choice don't bullshit
me like you want to spend more time with
your family spend more time with your family I'm trying to be very careful about what
I'm saying versus what I'm doing because that's how you get exposed and I don't
mean like people calling you out and being like you suck I mean to yourself I
don't want to be exposed by myself it's it's it's looking at yourself in the
mirror and saying like am I doing this right so to me there's so many people
they're talking shit about how big of an entrepreneur they're gonna be and how
much they're gonna achieve and they don't work on weekends you know I worked
every Saturday of my 20s like and I talk to 20 year old entrepreneurs every
single day lately I've been saying to them this Saturday you're gonna have
more time off than I've had in my entire 20s on a Saturday so like before you
tell me how you're gonna be bigger than me start thinking about what you're
actually doing I'm careful to not give advice that I
know is uniquely something that I was gifted with like I'd how do I tell you
that oh here's how it actually works and it
almost started happening it didn't happen like I actually get goosebumps
like actually like real heavy goosebumps when I hear something that I know feels
right what's the advice there hey Johnny start getting goosebumps like I can't
there's certain things that I can't talk about because I know they're not
practical they're intuitive to me I plan to instill kindness until Achatz
I plan on instilling perspective into my kids I plan in instilling just being a
good human being I plan on making sure they don't use
their parents wealth and micro fame and leverage to impose them on any other
person I was petrified of that if my kids try to Punk their friends on my
shit I'm gonna get the fuck out of them like that just loser DNA you didn't do
that we right like so like I'm not obsessed with tactics I'm obsessed with
religion so I have a lot of wealthy friends at this point who think it's
smart for them to sit first class but the kids in coach it's a tactic they
send their kids to Africa to build a school for a week it's a tactic it's
like my friends that love the environment the number two sector in the
world that is hurting the environment is the fashion industry when you run the
math of what's doing bad to the earth it's the number two industry behind Gaza
i I don't even want to say it cuz I'm not sure if it's gas in oil the number
two industry the sign of the fact is the fashion industry so all my fancy friends
who love the environment are they willing to give up their fucking Louie
bags let's say right so like I think people talk shit so you let them sit
coach and you went first class but you went to you know Hawaii and eat it all
the best pluck you can't pick and choose to me it's binary so I don't wanna be a
hypocrite so my big thing is like look you need to be kind like mean mean is
just non-negotiable in our family right and then you just need to not be full of
shit if you want to look at daddy's mountain and you want to say what I did
to my dad's and that was a big mountain for an immigrant like wow dad did it
right if you want to say I'm gonna climb that and I'm gonna climb bigger awesome
like I'm pumped I'm weirdly not cheering for you cuz I'm I'm just a weirdly
competitive dude this is actually something I'm not proud of I'm
comfortable saying this and I believe this is a flaw but I don't want my kids
to beat me I don't like I don't I saying it I know this is where I get in
trouble people will take one little clip from one video interview and they're
like you're a bad eye it's just my truth I don't want to bullshit you guys like
I'm that competitive I just want them to be all in on them
right like I don't need them to be an entrepreneur I don't need them to make
me proud they don't need to go to Harvard they don't need to give shit
they need to be themselves all in and they need to be kind and I'm good like everybody thinks their stuff is so
good like everyday Gary my instagrams so on fire soda awesome
why is nobody like why am I not gaining followers cuz it's not awesome think we all think our stuff is the best
and like I get that but yeah that would be my advice only because that also is
liberating me everything's about breathing right like to me everything is
about like take full ownership for everything and then everything gets easy
cuz then you're in control and then learn how to love to lose I think that's
how that's how entrepreneurship that's how life is we all have losses and so I
like losses I love adversity I like the climb I like the chip on my
shoulder I like when people like all I knew and he's not that good that is like
like I'm even weirdly scared as I continue to ascend and I'm getting
popular and wouldn't you say the marketing leaning like if people start
putting these words in front of my name I'm like am I gonna sabotage myself to
like recorrect this like I like adversity so yeah all on me you know I
enjoy losses now all of a sudden like what you become completely invincible I
feel invincible I really genuinely outside of the health of myself and 20
people feel 100% invincible as a person I know what my intent is I want to do
good at nobody else's expense I'm far from perfect we all are
and so just easy it feels very light to live life I'm just in a good mood them home and I think modern-day parents
and most parents do not do that I think they focus on dumb shit like
grades because they are insecure and they want to put the bumper sticker that
their kid went to you know Stanford like it's real fucked up when you really
think about what's actually happening so much of it is misery loves company or
people reflecting of what's inside of them is the impact that you want to have on
the world same thing that attracts so many of millions of people to people
that are selling bullshit those same people are attracted to me and what I
want to do is suffocate out all those other people and become the Alpha of
that entire world of people that are are hoping and are desperate to look at me
and what I want to do is inspire two 14 year old girls in Kansas City right now
to build a billion dollar company on having a bunch of employees hugging each
other in a house I think that Steve Jobs came along became an icon but the sad
part of that narrative was he did not treat his employees well he became an
icon and the narrative became and he got the most out of people by being a jerk
and that became romanticized and a lot of people in Silicon Valley today run
companies worth their mean because they think that's the right thing to do
because they put Steve Jobs on a pedestal
I want my pedestal moment I want to become that big and what I want to come
from that is that kids that aren't even born
think that they can build a five billion dollar company and be a great guy or
great gal I want to build the biggest building in town ever by just building
the biggest building in town while I think most people try to tear down
everybody else's building so I think positivity and good is practical advice
to building an empire and I want to be the poster child of the person that
don't biggest baddest empire and did it by being a good dude along the way and
not everybody's gonna be happy about everything I did but if it's 97% of
people talking good behind your back that's a real legacy and I want to do it
in a pop culture way I'm gonna do it anyway people have done that before just
so you know there's plenty of people Warren Buffett's a really good dude like
there's plenty of people that have done that there's a difference I want to do
it and I want to be a rock star right like and that's where you influence
people like you know like I want to do it but I also want to be the most
popular and so then that person's like oh I want to be him so I guess I'll be
nice like I want to literally take people who have DNA that's kind of nice
and make them more nice because they think that's how I became big so I
basically want to trick the business world into becoming kinder you

just close your eyes until you're 29 just close your eyes until you're 29 everybody wants to come up with an excuses aren't this, I wasn't born that way. I am stuck. I am in the right. I wasn't born here. This. you can't be lost life for you are in this young. a female, an immigrant, a minority, a transgender, a…. excuses…. In reality the problem is nobody cares. Your lack of patience is killing you. slowing you down, and everybody else. Your need of things is killing you. How many of you can watch,how many of you can reap, you can be happy 'cause happiness drives everything You are not lost in life, you're just growing in the process everybody tries to prove something so early you've rapped your hand around, and not getting about any investment in your life to your 29 please, whatever it takes, call your grandmother, go to your great grandfathers, bear your spot go back to the old country, go to a shelter.

Do something, do something that we calibrate your perspective on what is actually going on here. Every person in here fucking want a lotto.

– The biggest poison in us is regret. It's poison. And I push so hard, so hard, and will
through my vehicle which isn't meditation, which isn't health and wellness, which isn't non-profit. My vehicle is business. I can't help it.
It's what I love. I love building businesses. Love competing with you,
I want to beat you. I love that game. But through that vehicle. I will always push
a lack of regret and awareness to
how good it really is. You're more than welcome
to tell me how bad it is or why you can't, because or what, but it's just not true. Because if anybody ever did it,
then you can too. Stop making excuses, stop complaining, nobody's listening. They make pretend
they're listening, the market doesn't care. What you need to do is
make one person happy: You. Then you make
everybody else happy. You know why I like
making people happy? 'Cause I'm already happy.

And so I implore you to take this last little rant and really look at
your fucking face and understand are
you doing the things that are putting you
in a position to succeed, not just in a business
world but in life. Because it's super
important because boy when you're happy in life, you're fucking
business can roll, and, so, I'm just
trying to figure it out. I've been trying to
figure it out in front of you for the last
seven, eight years. Trying to figure out the unlocks. EQ, IQ, self-awareness, hustle
I don't know what they are. You know why? 'Cause like I told my man, it's 330 different unlocks.

And so I'll go to all of them, They're all tried and true and one might hit you. "Yeah, it was hard work
because I'm actually lazy." "I talk a good game
but I'm full of shit." Or it might be something else. But fuck one and so you decided to sit? You're into this? Right?
It's good, right? This is some good shit. You're gonna remember this? – [Woman] I do.
– Good. One fucking life. One life, my friends.
One time. And honestly, I'll leave you
with this because a lot of you need it. How you make your
money is more important than how
much you make. (light piano music).

– Oh look at this guy. What, do you think you’re better than us? Ooh, nice jacket. Why are you so dressed up? If you have just decided to make a change and start dressing well, I bet that you have heard one of or maybe all of those things from a colleague, a friend, or maybe even a family member.

Those sorts of comments, whether we want to admit it or not, affect our confidence and can be real impediments to following through with the positive changes that we want to make.

So in this video, we’re going to go over 10 effective strategies for dealing with the haters but first, you’re watching He Spoke Style, I’m Brian Sacawa. If you’re new here, at He Spoke Style, we are dedicated to giving you all the tips, knowledge, and inspiration you need to help you dress well, feel more confident and unlock your potential. Haters suck, yeah I’m looking at you, two people who always thumbs down my videos right when they’re posted.

Yep, you think I didn’t notice?

But unfortunately, if you’re trying to improve something, especially if you are starting to dress well and you’re making noticeable progress and succeeding at it, haters just always seem to appear. They’re the armchair critics, they’re the naysayers, and they’re gonna try to discourage you but what you need to do is to stay focused, stay motivated and ignore the boos because those are coming from the cheap seats.

However, it’s not always easy and I know and that’s why I’ve put together these 10 strategies to help you deal with the haters. Number one, use that criticism as fuel. If someone criticizes you, you have a choice to make, you can either let it drag you down, which is what the person who said that to your wants, or you can let it light a fire underneath you but what you need to remember is that when someone puts you down, it says more about them than it does about you.

In fact, it reveals who they are, their insecurities, and honestly, that they feel threatened by you and if that’s the case, you’re on to something. Recognize that and let it fuel you. Number two, take it as a compliment. I know you kind of have to do a little mental jujitsu to kind of process a put down as a compliment but think of it this way: if you are inspiring criticism and envy, you are on the right path and you will be successful.

They don’t want you to dress well because they don’t and they know that you are on your way to making them look bad.

Number three, try hitting back. Now in this situation, you’ve kind of got to know the room and the people you are talking with. If they’re colleagues or friends you’ve known for a long time and have a history with and you are someone who is good at really thinking on your feet, this is a great opportunity to throw it back at them, maybe give them a little dig of your own. It shows that you have some humility, you’re not taking yourself too seriously, and really kind of changes the conversation the irony is that if you use this strategy effectively and you’re not defensive, the person who lobbed that initial insult at you will probably have more respect for you for standing up to them.

I know it’s messed up but that’s how some people are.

Number four is to kill them with kindness. Now, this is a proven strategy that works all the time and it really makes the person who is insulting you feel like a total jackass. Remember, they want to upset you, they want to throw you off your game and if you’re able to pivot to something positive, it shows a lot of character on your part and it reveals much about them. Number five is just something to remember and that’s that successful people do not need to put others down. In fact, successful people don’t have time to put others down because they’re too busy being successful and thinking about what they need to do to get where they want to go, they don’t have time to think about what other people think.

It’s an easy trap to fall into though, I do it myself from time to time and I’m always infinitely more successful when I am not worrying about the opinions of others. Number six, remember that when someone criticizes you, it’s not about you, it’s really about them and what that could mean is that maybe they’re going through a tough time, maybe there’s something going on at home that you don’t know about, maybe they’re dealing with something at work, you don’t know.

Use this as an opportunity to check in on them and show them that you care. Number seven, don’t react. Don’t give them the satisfaction, don’t let them see that it bothers you.

Like your mother used to say, if you ignore them, they’ll go away. If you don’t give them the reaction they’re looking for, they will stop. Number eight is to reflect. Now maybe there’s something you can learn from what they’re saying. For example, if you’ve just started to make this change in how you dress and you show up in a bright red suit with a black vest, a paisley bow tie, and spectator shoes, maybe you do need to tone it down a little bit.

Trying too hard is a mistake that all of us will make on this journey, in fact, I believe it’s a mistake that you can’t avoid. So in this case, maybe the person who’s hating on you is legitimately trying to help. Now a lot of these strategies involve actively engaging and in some cases, putting up a wall and some checks on what you might want to say but for number nine, it’s okay to acknowledge your feelings, no matter how well you deal with the haters, it still hurts on some level, even if you don’t show it outwardly. That’s why it’s important to have people you can trust that you can go to who understand you, who listen to you, for example, the community here at He Spoke Style because talking about how you’re feeling definitely makes you feel better. Number 10 is to stick to your convictions.

You’re making the effort to dress well for a reason, for confidence, for self-respect, to show the people around you that you care and you put effort into whatever you do. You’re doing something positive and you need to keep that energy going because it will be infectious and when you succeed, other people will take note and I bet they will start asking you questions like what are some really easy ways that I can start to up my game? Now you already know and it’s simple: you don’t need a lot, you just need a few great basics and know how to put them together, as this playlist will show you how to do. Click here and brush up, so you can help your friends out when they ask for your advice.

I have a question about the passive income key and I want to know what kind of trends. You see When you say passive income what? Do you mean I mean not having to work all day long? I want to be on a beach in Mexico instead of being in an office in Sweden in a cold November. Are you being serious right now?

Yes, yes, I’m serious, okay The quickest way to not be on a beach in Mexico is to think that passive income exists to think the reason. So many scumbuckets are making so much money that you’re buying stupid [, __ ] courses over and overthinking there’s some [ __ ] magic, the formula for, passive income looks like this you take money that you can afford to go to zero and. You put them into two places that have historically created passive income public markets that you don’t care if it goes up and down, and you just wait, to the end or real estate, and you hope that your real estate area doesn’t get crushed. Everything else almost doesn’t exist.

– On this episode, Simon Sinek stops by! That was kinda cool, actually. (Gary and Simon laugh) (intense hip-hop music) ♪ Ey ♪ ♪ Ey ♪ ♪ Ey ♪ ♪ GaryVee ♪ ♪ You ask questions ♪ ♪ And I answer them ♪ ♪ This is “The #AskGaryVee Show” ♪ Hey, everybody, this is Gary Vaynerchuk, and this is episode 226 of “The #AskGaryVee Show.” I’m excited. I have a guest.

I actually have a pretty serious focus in the fourth quarter here of not doing too many guests, getting back to kinda the classic version.

Even India, Tyler, let’s go to her, even India is here, so we’re going very classic on the show, but I couldn’t resist. Simon and I got some drinks together, catching up. – We did. – And I thought it would be fun to have you on the show.

So, many of the people that watch this are huge fans of yours. – Thank you. – Many, as these worlds work, many will be discovering you for the first time, which excites me. I’m excited to get that email nine months from now saying, “Thank you so much for introducing me to Simon,” so there’s a lot of selfish wants and needs here (Simon laughs) in this episode. But Simon’s a friend and somebody who I really enjoy spending time with, even though we’re both so busy that it happens infrequently.

But to the percentage of the audience that doesn’t know who you are, why don’t you give ’em a quick little spiel– – Quick little spiel? – And then we’ll answer some questions, my friend. – Sure. My name is Simon Sinek, and I have a clear vision of what I wanna build in this world.

I imagine a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired to go to work, feel safe when they’re there, and return home fulfilled at the end of the day, and everything I do, whether it’s writing, speaking, teaching, whatever it is, is devoted to helping to build that world.

– And have you always had that for yourself? – Past decade. – And before then? – I would say my career before then was– – What did you do before then? – I had a marketing consultancy.

– Got it, yeah. – So, I just sort of, I mean, I enjoyed myself, I had a passion for what I did, but I sort of, I meandered. – Yeah. – I would say that, you know.

I think my goals and my visions were very much about me and about the business.

I wanna build this kind of business, I wanna make this kind of money. – Yep. – And that hasn’t been for the past decade. – And so, me knowing a little bit more and adding a little more color for the group, you speak, you’ve written books. You had a breakout speech at the highest of levels, you wanna talk about that for a second?

‘Cause I think that matters. – Yeah, so, a long time ago, I did a, 2009, as long ago as that is.

– There are some older people that watch this. – Right. – 2009, that would’ve been, so fuckin’ (laughs) long ago, Simon!

– Well, I think in this social media world, it was a long time ago. – (laughs) Guys, a long, long time ago, seven years! – A long time ago, in 2009, (Gary laughs) I gave a TEDx talk in Puget Sound, Seattle, and it gained some popularity on YouTube, and the folks at TED.com, at TED, decided to put it on TED.com, and it– – It went crazy.

– It went crazy, and– – When did it go crazy? When did that, you did it in ’09, but when did it kinda– – I did it at the end of ’09, and they put it on TED.com in May of 2010.

– Yeah, it just seems like a lot of people, how many views did that get? – The last time I checked, it was about 27 or 28 million.

– Yeah, monster. Andy, you’re slacking over there, I don’t have any 28 millions. (laughs) And so, and so– – And look, I won the Internet lottery. I mean, I got lucky. – Well, it was– – I got lucky.

– And for, one more time, for the people that are learning about you, real quick, on, what was the general thesis of that? – So, I shared, it was a talk on the theory that I– – Yeah. – Continue to espouse that I based on an idea called the golden circle. Basically, every single organization on the planet, every single one of us knows what we do, the things we sell, the services we offer, some of us know how we do it, it’s the things that we think make us stand out or differentiate us from the world outside, but very, very few of us can clearly articulate why we do what we do.

And if you look at the greatest leaders, everybody from Martin Luther King to Steve Jobs, those with the capacity to inspire action in those around them, every single one of them, regardless of their industry, thinks, acts, and communicates starting with why.

– Yep. – Most of us talk about what we do, and then we try and tell people how we’re better. But these guys talk about their vision, they talk about their cause, they talk about where they’re going, and what they do simply serves as the tangible proof of what they believe.

And it profoundly changed my life, it continues to be the way in which I organize information, make decisions, set strategy, all of it. – It’s the North Star.

– It is the North Star. And I found a language that made it really easy to understand, and actually, the cool thing is it’s actually grounded in the biology of decision making. So it’s not like some highfalutin management theory– – Right. – It’s actually grounded in how the brain evolved and makes decisions. – And what about your book world?

You’ve written now, what, three? – Third book– – Yep. – Yeah, came out today. – This is the day? – This is the day.

– Is that what’s in there? – No. – What the hell? I was super pumped, I’m like, “He’s got a box.” – We sent you some.

– I know, but I lost it. – You lost it? – Yeah. – So you didn’t even read it. – I’m not gonna read it!

I’ve never read a, I’ve read, like, four books in my life, like Joe Namath life story– – You do realize it only has 200 words in it? – That sounds like a lot.

(Simon laughs) It’s a lot of pictures this time, right? – It is a lot of pictures. – So, what are the three books, real quick?

And we’ll link those up– – Okay, so the first– – And India, I think it’s time for you to reassess and re-enter the ecosystem. – You gonna come and talk? – I feel like Dunk and Sid and all these characters, nobody can play up to the level of your quality, and so, I think we’re ready to raise the bar. – [India] You’re ready? – We’re ready.

– Yes, but before we do that, the three books? – Okay, the first book, the first book is “Start With Why”– – Yes. (bell dings) – Which is a deeper look into what I talked about on the TED talk. – Yes.

– The second book is “Leaders Eat Last”– – Yes.

(bell dings) – Which is all about where trust and cooperation come from, and how you build trust and cooperation. You ever consider calling it “Leaders Don’t Eat at All”? ‘Cause (laughs) that’s how I– – That sometimes happens, that sometimes happens. – Rolled for a long time. – Yeah, that’s very true.

– All right, and this new one that comes out today? – And the new one that comes out to get today is called “Together Is Better”– (bell dings) – Okay. “A Little Book of Inspiration,” yeah, that’s what it is, and it’s basically a beautiful little illustrated book with quotes and aphorisms, but it’s a metaphor. I tell a story of three little kids who are dissatisfied with their playground because of a bully, in this case, the metaphor being a bad boss, and people imagine having a different job or going somewhere else, or starting their own business, or whatever it is. – Yep.

– And the question is, who has the courage to do that? – Yeah. – And so, basically, it’s a story of three little kids who find the courage to follow their dreams because they learn to help each other. – Love it. – Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

So, all across America and the world, we hope to inspire people leaving organizations three at a time.

– Five at a time. – 10. – Yeah, I’m good with that. – Okay.

(Simon laughs) India, let’s do it! – Here’s the first one from– – Oh, a lot of, these are all videos, right? – They’re all videos, yeah. – Yeah, it’s a video. – Real questions, good, I like this.

– Hi, GaryVee! – Hi, GaryVee and Simon, I hope all is well. Question that I have for y’all is, can somebody’s personal why on why they work for a business vary from the business’s why, or is that just never good? Thanks a lot! Keep climbing!

– So if it’s your business, the business’s why and your why are exactly the same thing. – Yeah, but he’s asking if he works for an organization– – He works for a separate company– – He knows the organization’s why, I mean, a lot of people– – He knows the organization’s why.

– A lot of them know Vayner’s why, but they may have separate whys within it. Can they coexist? – Sure.

– Can an employee’s why and an org’s why coexist– – Sure. – And everybody wins? – Sure, the simple answer is, yes, if they go together. Everybody has their own unique why, and the organization has its own unique why. – Yes.

– And if they are compatible– – You mean, go together in a peanut butter and jelly kind of metaphor? – Yeah, if they’re compatible, then you will look to the people who have joined the company and say, “Ah, you’re a good fit, you belong here,” and they will see themselves as a good fit, and each one is mutually beneficial.

In other words, it’s like any relationship. You and your wife have different whys, but they’re compatible. You see her as– – A hundred percent.

– Helping you grow, and she sees you as helping her grow, et cetera. – A hundred percent. – It’s the exact same thing. – Which is why– – And sometimes it isn’t compatible, just by– – Which is why divorce rates are very high. – Well, I don’t know, it’s sometimes incompatible.

That’s a decision-making problem. – Okay. – But sometimes– – But it’s also an evolution problem, right? Like, if you think about it, one’s whys can be really aligned with the organization’s today, and five years from now, they may not.

– No, absolutely not, not if both– – One more time, you’re saying no to that?

– No to that. – So you’re saying that there is a frozen– – Here, let me tell you why. – No, no, hold on, before you do, I wanna give you more framework– – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – Because I’m fascinated by your decision to say that. – Okay.

– You’re saying that things are frozen, frozen! And that one’s context of how the world, for example, that it’s so frozen, both North Stars, that one who’s an employee, who’s rolling quite along and has a why, but then his child dies from cancer along the way, isn’t reframed into the context of where maybe it’s not aligned anymore.

– No, the word, I wouldn’t use frozen. – Okay. – You’re saying that there can be no growth when you use the word frozen.

– Okay. – Your why is fully formed by the time you’re in your, probably, late teens, and the rest of your life is simply an opportunity to live in balance with your why or not, so, the decisions you make.

And so, whether somebody’s living, that’s why I said before, which is as long as both organization and person are working hard to remain consistent with their cause, then it works fine. Now, the example you give, of someone’s child dying, you know, tragedy doesn’t form or change your why. Tragedy usually gives us an opportunity to live our why, ’cause it makes everything else in the world seem stupid, and it forces us to say there is something bigger and more important here.

Very often, tragedy (hands slap) pushes us into why, not the other way around, not pushes us away from it. – I totally agree with you. I think the most extreme things that happen in people’s lives actually just accentuates the reality of what’s going on. – It exaggerates who you really are. – Hundred percent.

– The test of someone is not when everything is going great, it’s when everything goes wrong. That’s where your true colors show.

– Or, similar to that, but a slightly different version for everybody, I’m fascinated by people’s wealth and fame really not changing them at all, just finally exposing who they actually are. – Yeah, yeah. – And that’s not a tragedy.

– And that’s a hard thing. – It’s usually, in theory, a good thing. – That’s a hard thing. – But it’s a real thing. – Absolutely.

– All right. – So, yeah, it’s fine if they’re different, as long as they’re compatible. And this is why you wanna know your why, and this is why you wanna find out the company’s why, ’cause otherwise, you’re gonna make decisions based on money and benefits, and then there’s nothing. – A hundred percent. – It’s like making a decision about who to marry based on their bank account.

– I don’t wanna sidetrack the show, but it’s funny, I’m sitting here, it’s why I’m so confident in what I’m building at VaynerMedia, because the platform is being built to be in their benefit to reverse-engineer what they want based on their DNA, whether that is enormous ambition, which is, then, this is a platform for them to create that, or within a very close ecosystem to me, or quite passive and very nice work-life.

I have actual zero emotion, one way or the other, of what they actually want. I just wanna build a framework and a platform that gives them those options, and I think that’s the great mistake that most businesses make. – And isn’t that what you preach in your work as well? – A hundred percent!

– And so it’s– – Yeah, I have no interest in– – So the why is clear internally and externally? – Hundred percent. – I love that. – Which is, because to me, otherwise, everything crumbles in its hypocrisy if you don’t do that. – Amen.

– [India] From Matt. – Matthew. – Hey, Gary, Matt LaMarsh here in Atlanta, Georgia. Hope you’re doin’ well. I had a quick question about self-awareness.

Do you think it’s more about maturity and wisdom, or is it something that you’re just built with? Thanks so much for taking the time. Have a great day! – That’s a good question. – So I’ve been talking a lot about self-awareness.

– Yeah. – I’d love for you to take the floor first. Maybe you haven’t had as much time to ponder this world.

What’s your take on self-awareness? Do you feel like you have it?

Do you feel like it grew? For example, I believe it is the ultimate power. Once you have that, boy, can you start navigating. I’m struggling ’cause so many people have (smacks hand) really caught attention to this and they’re asking me to help them figure out how to gain more of it, and I’m like, Jesus, you know what I mean? There are certain places where your skill set stops.

Mine stops at, “How am I gonna,” I don’t know. Boy, do I know the people that I know that have it are winning, and not just financially or exposure, they’re just in a happy place because of that self-awareness. What is your thought on self-awareness? – Yeah, I think it’s a skill like any other. – So you do think it’s something that can be its own– – Sure, I mean, some people might have more natural capacity for it, however they were raised, like any other skill, you know?

– In the world? – Some people are good at basketball, and some people have to work very hard to be good at basketball, but it’s– – Do you think one caps out, though? In the basketball analogy, Dunk is a nice-looking athlete, but he’s never going to be an NBA player.

He has a ceiling of his basketball skills. Do you think people have a ceiling to their self-awareness?

– I don’t know if people have a ceiling, but I think self-awareness is a skill, a practicable, learnable skill, and I think that one of the big things about self-awareness is we don’t really know how we’re being perceived. We think we know how we’re being perceived, and sometimes we act in a way, when we act all pompous ’cause we wanna appear stronger, really, we appear weak, and– – That’s right. – We’re not always aware– – Which is a common one, by the way. – Which is, yeah, right, and so, I think the big thing about learning to be self-aware is being open to the feedback from people who love you and care about you who are willing to say to you, “When you said that, you looked and sounded like an ass.” – Yeah, it’s funny.

– And to be open to that kind of harsh, but from a good place, critique is the only way to learn how you come across. – It’s funny you said that.

I think the closest I’ve ever gotten to answering this is that, and then, comma, actually putting that inner circle in a safe place to tell you the truth. – Exactly right. – Because those same people are scared, you know, they love you.

– And if you’re defensive the whole time, then– – Game over. – Then you are not learning self-awareness. – I would tell you that my reading of comments over the last decade on social, and taking each with a grain of salt.

Your biggest fans, you can only let your ego go so far, and you’re aware that some people troll for the sake of getting reactions from the community, and things of that nature. But the net, the millions in a net composite score, has definitely been, I would always say that listening has done a lot more for me, even though I love to talk and always talk, that consumption pattern has been a very big deal for me.

– So, there’s a wonderful story about listening. – Please, okay. – Because the problem when people say, “You need to be a better listener,” is we are human beings, and we need to communicate. And communication is two ways, listening and speaking. So, but everybody’s like, “You gotta be a better listener.

” But here’s the best understanding I have of that. So, Nelson Mandela is universally regarded as a great leader, which is important, because different people are viewed differently in different nations. But Nelson Mandela, universally regarded as a great leader, right? He was actually the son of a tribal chief, and he was asked in an interview once, “How did you learn to be a great leader?” And he tells the story of how he would go to tribal meetings with his father, and he remembers two things.

They always sat in a circle, and his father was always the last to speak. – Hm. – And in terms of leadership and listening, I think the idea of “be a better listener” is actually half the advice. I think the advice is, practice being the last to speak. You see this all the time in meetings, where everybody will sit around a room, the senior guy will be like, “All right, here’s the problem, “here’s what I think we should do, “but I’m really interested in what your thoughts are.

” – Yes. – “Let’s go around the room.” It’s too late! You’ve influenced the room. – You’ve created the footprint.

– And people bend and mold, as opposed to saying, “Here’s the problem, “I’m interested in what you have to say,” without saying anything.

And having this, and this takes practice, not even giving a hint whether you agree or disagree. If anything, you ask questions to learn more. You get the benefit of hearing everybody’s opinion, everybody gets to feel heard, and then you get to render your opinion. – So I would tell you, and this is for people that are running businesses, that is a micro example of the way, and I think makes a ton of sense.

I would tell you, “Andy, you obviously direct “report to me, you run our team. “I think people would be stunned “by how little we talk at all.” Like, the level of, micro, right? Like, the level of micromanagement I put on, my version of that is actually letting people do their thing and watching it from, speaking last.

I guess my punchline is, by the time I get into the meeting where we’re like, “Here’s the problem,” the amount of listening that has been done, because I’ve created such a white canvas for the leaders to do their thing, and I can watch it and contextualize what they’re doing, is the macro version, because once you’re in that meeting room, that’s basically the final pitch of what’s been going on over that period of time.

– Okay. – Yeah, it’s interesting, it’s interesting. I believe in that quite a bit. Okay, good. I mean, I think I, on the other hand, do think that all skills have a max-out.

At some level, your hard-wiring limits– – So you can’t continue to grow till the day you die? – No, I think that’s the black-and-white version of that. I think that you can continue to make incremental steps, but I think that there are people– – Oh, so there’s a diminishing returns kinda thing.

Yeah, that’s interesting. – Absolutely, I believe that.

Because I believe some people are just delirious in this chase that they’re gonna be at this upside of any skill– – Yeah, I think it’s interesting. – And people lose practicality at some level. – And the question is, where is everybody? If here is the max-out or the diminishing returns– – Right. – The question is, is– – Do you stop here?

– Does anybody even get here? I mean, there’s– – And which is why I’m always very careful– – That’s interesting. – To not play too much to the negative, because I don’t want somebody to stop here, but at the same token, in a world where there’s a lot of voices and everybody can do everything, we need to level some level of practicality. – Oh, that’s good, I like that. Yeah, that’s interesting.

– Oh, thank you. – [India] From Bill. – Bill! – Hey, Gary and Simon. My name is Bill Clanton, from billclantonbooks.

com.

I’m an adult coloring book illustrator. I live here at the Jersey Shore. I make coloring books for grown-ups. Up till now, I’ve been a one-man band as far as controlling my operation and doing everything myself, but I’m looking to expand and start building a team.

Do you have any suggestions as I grow to help new team members buy into my why, or my mission as to why I’m doing this? Is there any best practices or ideas, suggestions, to help them buy into what I’m trying to accomplish here? Any suggestions would be great. Thanks a lot, and keep up the good work. Trying to accomplish here– – Yeah.

– [Bill On Video] Any suggestions would be great. (Gary laughs) – Sure. – Wants suggestions. – Well, one is having clarity of why, which is something that you have to have the ability to talk about what you believe, what you’re trying to build beyond the business itself.

So he’s into adult coloring books.

What specifically– – By the way, which puts him in a good spot to begin with, right? I mean, if you just think about that in thesis– – Yeah. – There’s a lot of smiling that comes along with that. There’s a lot of positive vibes. – If that’s why he went into it.

It could have been for some Zen calm thing, or some stress relief thing. – Or some weird thing. Maybe he’s a really bad guy, and he’s mad at children. I don’t think so. – So, but even beyond the coloring books, what is it that he imagines?

The ability to talk about his vision, and if he can’t talk about his why in hard terms, can he tell stories of his own experiences or people he admires, that if somebody hears enough of those stories, they can kinda get a sense of who he is? What you’ll find is that the better you are at communicating your why, people will want to work for you, regardless of the opportunity that you afford them.

They wanna be a part of it. – Yeah. – We do a little thing, which we’ve been doing for years and years and years, called a give-and-take.

Whenever there’s any kind of relationship, whether it’s an outside partnership or even somebody who joins our team, we do something called a give-and-take, where we want somebody to be selfish and selfless within the relationship. So, not give-and-get, but give-and-take. So we’ll ask them, “What is it you have to give “to us, that you have that you think that we need?” And they’ll tell us. And then we’ll say, “Great, what is it “that you selfishly want from us?

” And we want them to tell us what they can get from us and no one else. – I believe in that so much.

– And when those things match, you have a balanced relationship. Because, so, for example, I’ve had it with people who, they’ll tell me what they have to offer, and that’s awesome, ’cause that’s what I want, and then they’ll say what they wanna take, and they go, “Oh, I wanna work with smart people.” I’m like, “There are plenty of smart people.

“What is it you wanna take from me?” They’re like, “Oh, I wanna help build something.” “Wonderful, do that anywhere. “What do you wanna take selfishly from me “that you can get nowhere else?” And if they can’t answer the question, I won’t engage in a relationship, and the reason is because in time, the relationship is unbalanced, they’re gonna be giving, but they’re not taking, and I don’t even know how to give them what they want, then they’ll complain they’re not making enough money or– – Yep, yep.

– Because it’s not balanced.

– That’s right, and I think– – So that’s a big part of it. – And I think the other thing, you know, as being out there, a lot of people play the reverse of that. – Yeah. – They wanna give you something that is very low in value, and they want something insane in return.

“Hey, GaryVee, I tweeted about your book. “Now, I want a job with you, “I want you to babysit my dog four times a week.” Like, it’s insane like that. – That’s right, so it’s about balance. – And to me, I’ve thought a lot about that, I think a lot about it.

I call it 51-49. I fully believe in that. – Yeah. – And then, what I always think about is how incredibly important it is to me to slightly give a little bit more.

Not because I’m the greatest human ever.

I actually just think it’s a leverage point. I like the feeling, and I’m not sold that, I don’t know if that makes me a good guy or a bad guy. It’s just my natural state to slightly overdeliver as close to the middle as possible, and I like that. – So, one of the richest guys in China, he might even be the, well, since the Alibaba guy, not so much. But one of the richest guys in China, he’s a real estate developer, and he always gives the majority share to all his partners.

He always does 51-49, or even more imbalance. And somebody, again, sat down with him in an interview and said, “Why do you never do 50-50 deals? “Why do you give away the majority “stake in all of your partnerships?” And he smiles and says, “‘Cause everybody “wants to do business with me.” – That’s right.

– I mean, it’s that easy. – Makes tons of sense. – Yeah. – I think, to answer the question in a little bit of detail, I think you have the benefit of being out there, I think all of us have the benefit of being out there today, and I think all of us, whether your audience, and we’ve been at audience sizes of just starting to where we are today, whether your audience is very large or quite small, there are always a small group of people that are attracted to your message. And I think what I would do in this scenario is, if you’re looking to hire that first person, I would look very hard at the people that are engaging with your content on social and start there.

I’m a very big believer on that, because I think it’s quite practical. They’ve already been self-selected, they’re using their free time to comment on your stuff, consume your stuff, buy those coloring books, and so, I think that’s a very important place.

I’ve had enormous amounts of success with Wine Library and both VaynerMedia in the exact same way. – And they have a passion for you and your work before you even met them. – That’s right, and by the way, and by the way, by the way, sometimes you lose, because they had a vision of what they were attracted to, and then the reality is, it’s work, or this and that.

But I do like that starting point from a practical nature. – [India] From JJ. – JJ! – Hey, Gary! It is JJ at 97.

9 The Box in Houston. Had a blast having you on my show earlier this year to talk about your new book, “#AskGaryVee.” I read the book, it is amazing.

I got a lot of good stuff from it. I’ve been sharing it with some of my interns and my friends and co-workers, so thank you so much.

Today, I have a question for you. I’m releasing a book next month, it’s called “Without Bruises: A Journey to Hope, Help, and Healing.” It’s telling my personal story of being in a relationship with a sociopath and going through mental and emotional abuse. Well, I am trying to figure out, do I stick with JJ, who is the radio personality, to market this book, or do I need to stay away? Because I feel like I can reach a bigger audience, but I’m not sure if that audience is really ready for the girl with the shaved hair, tattoos, who’s at the hip-hop station.

So maybe you can give me some advice on that. Thanks Gary, love ya! – I’ll take this one first, and then you can jump in, Simon. JJ, look, the bottom line is, it’s not 1984 anymore, it’s 2016. You’re not gonna hide from who you are.

People are gonna figure out you have a shaved head and tattoos. – Yeah. – You can can go under a pseudonym, you can go in disguises, they’re going to figure out who you are, so I think everybody wins when they go all in. Listen, first 60 episodes of “Wine Library TV,” 2006, 10 years ago, I was tempered a little bit because I was scared that the people on Wall Street and these rich people that were buying hundreds of thousands of dollars a year of wine from me would realize I loved wrestling and football, and I cursed, and I was Jerseyed out.

The truth is, the second I realized, “Wait a minute, if people like this show with 80% of me, “what’s really gonna happen?

” The second I went all-in on me, it became a totally different outcome, and really, I’ve never looked back, both in the wine industry and who I am today. There are plenty of people in the marketing and book world that don’t love me. I think the closer one is to me– – Who? No. – I don’t know, people.

– No. – There’s a LinkedIn post right now where I saw somebody write, “Why GaryVee is Really Great at Social Media,” and the first comment, with four likes from other people, is “I wanna do nothing like GaryVee,” and I’m like, “Well, there’s five people.” (Simon laughs) I mean, you know, and I get it, and I get it, but I think what you have to take pride in, JJ, and everybody, is, if you can live a life where the people that know you the best like you the most, you win.

I love that my assistants, when we were talking about India’s one week as my, like, the people that know more about my truth win. As we’ve gotten to know each other, we’ve liked each other more, not less– – That’s true.

– And that’s the game.. – That’s true, I mean, what’s the definition of authenticity, right? Everybody’s like trying to be authentic, and nobody talks about what authenticity is.

Authenticity is saying and doing the things you actually believe.

And so, to create divisions, one of them is inherently inauthentic, so in one of them, you’re either being dishonest or you’re faking it, so– – Or you’re hedging, right? – Or you’re hedging, right. – Hedging! Hedging is what pisses me off. – So, I mean, you are who you are, and you wanna bring that personality, and at the end of the day, the more authentic you are in all of your work, the more the people who love you for who you are will take your work and will help spread it for you.

Those are champions. But it’s very hard to even find champions if you’re always hedging and trying to be what somebody else wants you to be. – JJ, I think you’ve got a misread on America, I really do. – People like you for you– – A hundred percent. – And they like you for your message.

– And especially if you’re you, for example– – Neither of us, neither of us fits the role that we expect. I mean, I show up to these meetings in jeans and things, and Gary, you know, he curses and he (Gary laughs) shows these things, but people like us for who we are.

And the people who don’t like us for who we are don’t invite us, and that’s totally fine. – I also think that you’ve got to understand the American psyche, right? They’re not gonna care as much about tattoos and shaved heads and things of that nature.

America forgives everything, except if you’re trying to deceive them. Like, you can literally do anything in this country, probably outside of murder, and get away with it, as long as you don’t try to pull one over on us, right? Presidents have proved that, the most famous people have proved that. We will forgive all day, but if you try to make us a sucker because you’re trying to put one over on us, we hate that! That’s it.

Is that it? – Yeah, be yourself. – [India] Just one more. – One more? Let’s do it.

– Be yourself, yeah. (India speaks faintly) – And it’s hard to be yourself. – It takes practice, it’s like the self-awareness thing, right? – Uh-huh, let’s do it. – [India] From Africa, hold on.

– Oh, in Africa, I love it. – Hi, Gary, my name is Gbenjo Abimbola from Nigeria, West Africa. It’s 2:16 AM in the morning here, and I’m grinding. I hope this gets in. My question is short and simple to you and Simon.

When do you know you have the chops as a young person to start talking, when you have the results to back it but you’re not an all-time great yet? Do you start talking, or do you document? Thank you. – I think you start talking.

The whole thing’s a process.

You start talking immediately. I mean, it takes a long time to become an overnight success, right? And I think for the both of us, and everybody we know that we admire and who has achieved anything, they’ve been at this a long time– – Work! – And they’ve been talking at it. And by the way, they weren’t great at the beginning.

– Speak for yourself. – Go watch early interviews of Steve Jobs, right? Early interviews of Steve Jobs are fantastic.

He’s terrible! And he actually, in one of them, says, “I need to go throw up,” because he’s so nervous about talking on camera.

He’s terrible! And the point is, is he practices and he practices and he practices, and he gets better, but he does it out loud. And I think the idea of hiding until it’s perfect, it’s a fool’s game. I think you put yourself out there, you start, you practice, you practice out loud, then you get feedback and you can grow. – You counterpunch.

You adjust. – Yeah, you put it out there. – I would say the one thing that you may be referring to that I talk about a lot is, it’s tough to come out the gate at 22 and say, “This is the definitive thing, here’s my advice.” I think talking to the world about your truth– – About what you believe.

– Correct, is the game.

– Yes, is the game. – I think what we’re seeing on the Internet right now, like, “I’m a”– – 22-year-old guru, yeah. – “I’m a Business coach, “and I’m gonna teach you, and the only business I have “is you’re gonna pay me $20K, and I’m gonna teach you “how to charge other people down the ladder “$20K to give you guys,” that’s the bad stuff. So, your point of view on the world and what you believe and where you come from, that’s gold, your process. That’s why I talk a lot about documenting instead of creating.

It’s just your truth. But I agree with you.

I mean, there’s no substitute for doing. The amount of people that wait for the perfect thing, and then never do anything. – You know, the most beautiful thing when you’re young and you think you have something to contribute is to admit that you don’t know everything, admit that you’re learning.

– Yes. – If you say, “I’m a 22-year-old expert, and I can help “you do X, Y, and Z,” you actually, it’s not true. I mean, there’s so much more to learn, and everybody knows that. – Everybody who is the kind of people that you want. – Everybody, yes.

– The people that are attracted to that are gonna do very little for you besides some short-term dollars. – Agreed, and if you say, “Look, I’m in this business, “I’m fascinated by it, I’m growing fast, I’m learning fast, “I’m still a student of this stuff, but I have this service to offer,” that humility is unbelievably attractive, and people want to be a part of that, because they know you’re showing up to learn, not to– – Simon, I don’t know if you’re paying attention to this, but in reverse, what’s happening is people are renting expensive things, showing a bullshit lifestyle on Instagram, asking their dad to take $25,000 out in cash from the bank, putting it on a bed, taking a picture, and then putting it back in the, just complete and utter fraud, and it pisses me off.

– That’s insane. – Yeah, and by the way, it’s just a non-winning game. – And you only attract people who want that– – The worst.

– And that’s not even who you are. – The worst, the worst. Anyway, Simon. (claps) – Probably lying, isn’t it? – Question of the Day, every guest gets to ask the Question of the Day.

You get to ask them a question, you’ll get hundreds of data points back in return– – Okay. that you can adjust to, both on Facebook and YouTube. So, what would you like to ask the Vayner Nation? What is on your mind? What would you like to get a good, solid survey in return from?

– I wanna know, whether you have your own business or work for a bigger company, I wanna know, do you feel loved and supported by the people around you? Do you feel that the cultures in which you work or the culture in which you’re building are ones of cooperation and of trust? Or do you feel that you have to keep your guard up the entire time, and you can’t really trust anybody, and you definitely can’t trust your boss? I wanna know that.

– And if you are feeling supported and loved, tag that person.

I think we are just not deploying enough positivity– – Agreed. – And I think if somebody’s doing that amazing thing for you, they would feel very nice when this shows up in their notifications and realize they’re doing that for you. – Yeah, thanks very much, yeah, wonderful. – Yeah, love you, pal. (hands slap) – Thanks a lot.

– Real good. You keep asking questions, we’ll keep answering them. (intense hip-hop music).

Monday morning, motivational video Garry vee,
so it’s early Monday morning and I’ve been wanting to make a Monday morning video for a long time, but finally d-roc we’re doing it so real quick. This is just a rant, very simple, and something that I want you to pass on or watch every Monday morning because the level of complaining is unacceptable.
Look, what if I told you this was the last Monday morning of your life? What if I told you you died this week, would you complain about your crap job or that test you don’t want to take? I doubt it.

You would go to a much higher level of thinking. Well, that’s really what it takes. It takes understanding that, if you’re not pumped right now, if you’re begrudging what you’re about to do, if you’re, if you’re, not looking forward to it, look I respect practicality. You got to go through school because your parents want you got to pay your rent. You got screwed in loans, I get it, but please recognize the world we’re living in we’re living in a world where there’s so much more opportunity.

This internet thing created way more opportunity for all of us way more, I mean look, you might not even be alive like your mom and dad could have had sex like three minutes later and you wouldn’t even exist and you’re complaining. You could have ended up being a bus, or a tree. I just don’t get the mentality of being head down sad on a Monday morning, I’m gonna make Monday morning my bitch, I’m gonna make you Saturday Monday morning. That’s what I want to do every morning and that’s what I want from you. Please take a step back and think about how awesome it actually is and then recognize that you can attack the world in a totally different way because you were lucky enough to be born during this era.